


Crackfiction Stories

by writing_with_a_nerd (orphan_account)



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Crackfiction, Gay, Gen, M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-09
Updated: 2016-11-13
Packaged: 2018-08-30 03:01:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8515996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/writing_with_a_nerd
Summary: Crack fics! I'll take requests for any fandom, characters, or whatever you may want! The cracker the better!





	1. A Tale of Two Legs

**Author's Note:**

  * For [emo_iero on Instagram](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=emo_iero+on+Instagram).



> This is so cracky, I almost peed myself writing it three months ago. Rated Mature for crankiness and cursing. Also, Gerard gives birth. Little bit mature there. Lmao no actual matureness but

**This shit was inspired by** [ **emo_iero** ](https://www.wattpad.com/user/emo_iero) **. Satan bless her soul. My head hurts and so does my arm, sweet baby.**

While Gee and Frok were waitin' for Frok to give birth to their bby (bc men get pregers too my frens), Miky, Ray 'n' Boob were sittin' and standin' patiently, chattin' among thyselves.

"I cannoot wait for dis bby," Frok says to his luv, Gee. "Dis bby is a comin' now!" He screeched lik a tru wooman.

"Get da docta!" Gee screamed, even louder than when dat bby were conceiveded.

"AhhhHHHHH!!" Miky and Ray yelled.

"Geesus, my men," Boob said, pooping his head outta da door. "Doocter! We gots a pregers male givin' da births!" He screamed.

"Oi mate!" The doocter saided. "That'a gee way noow!" He spooke, furiously pointin' down da hall-gee-way. "Dat boi 'bout ta do it!"

**_-_-_-_-_-_**

When thee child were 'bout ta be birthed, Frok gripped his boi's arm and said, "DIS BOI IS COMIN' OUT!" 

Witch were hilarious, bc it can go for the child 'n' Frok booth. Bc Frok gay af.

"It's a comin' big boi. It's a comin'!!" The doocter screeched. Boob had sat doon, thee excitement of a noow edition ta da band too mooch ta handle.

Frok gave thee last of da 10 pooshes and a pair of leggies pooped outta his manly hoole.

"WUT IN THE ACTUALE FUE IS THAT??" Gee screamed, sittin' on thee sid of da bed next too Frok and hopping in his boi's lap. Frok held him and said, "I luv our childs any-gee-way, my hoosband."

Luv was evidente in booth of there orbs as they staired at each oother, ignorin' all da choases aroond dem.

The doocter and noorse were tryna catch da pear of leggies dat pooped outta Frok will Miky jumped intoo Ray's arms and they booth screeched like Banshees and ran outta da room, shuttin' thee door su dat pear of leggies couldn't'a rane outta da room w/ them.

Boob was sittin' in da chair and stairin' lik he were half stoned, and thought _dem, dis gettin' old_ while a magical pear of maracas pooped intoo he handos and his hed were acquainted w/ a noice hatteria. He continued stairin' until he said, "Now we'll be emo punk rock _and_ incredibly differoont w/ dis pear a leggos on our sid."

Gee remained screamin' in his boi's arms, whilst Frok held him tight and rised him froom perditions, just lik Cassie did 4 his tru luv, Deano Winchesta in da 5th season uh Spoopernetural.

"Wee caught 'em all!" The doocter, who was noow Canadion, saided, whilst holdin' them leggies tight and risin' 'em lik da stars they'll bee-movie.

"Gimme," Frok sayses, and holds 'em tight to his boob-less cheest. "Awwes, dey su kewt," he turned 2 Gee. "Boot neva kewta den u, ti amo Gee-bby."

Gee nooded and sayses, "Dey r bootiful noow dat I see dem up cloose, ti amo mi sweet leggies and sweetheart."

N dat's hoow Ferard's bby were a pear o leggies, dey apperentlie r noow Italiano citizans of da USA, and Boob was simultaneously scarred 4 his lyfe bc his gay son's bby was terrifingly arousing.

***Drops phone* I rest my case, my fellow tiny Stans. Tag yo frens 2 make them waste their lives reading what I wasted my life writing.**


	2. Popsicle Crisis (A Tale of Two Legs pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Part two to the previous crack fic. Same thing, I am still crying from writing this three months ago, omf.

**Okey, so yes, more inspiration from my fake motha emo_iero. My stomach hurts really bad so I dunno if this is gonna work out or not, dear Lawrence. I've resorted to writing these in the bathroom.**  
4 dayos afta Frok gave births 2 da leggies, Gee took him 'n' his bootiful leggies ta get thyselves ice cream.  
Apparently, Frok were complete recovered froom givin' dem births noot more den a weak agu.   
When da leggies walked intoo da ice cream shoppe™ w/ Frok and Gee, everyoone staired at dem.  
"Sooch bootiful bbies"  
"Sooch sculptured leggies"  
"Sooch gay, sooch difference"

All dem gurls whispered 'bout havin' a gr8 man lik Frok, who'd give thy births for dem, and all da bois gathered round 2 here da tale of 2 gay guys w/ dem noice leggies by there sid.  
"Me and my hubby and are leggies whoosh to have vanillas bc leggies cannot eats," Frok sayses.  
"Oof course," da ladie behind da counta sayses. "Sooch gay booty," she sayses.  
"Ikr," Gee said, puttin' thy arm round thy boi's shouldas.   
"Danke," Frok sayses, and noow he's German.  
Lata, afta dey got da i screams, Gee accidently knocked intoo his hubby's arm whilst holdin'thy i screams.  
"NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Frok and Gee screamed, whilst there bby leggies started runnin' round, screeching and failin' ontoo frighteneded ppl.  
Frok's i screams fell intoo his shirts and between thy nonexistentance boobs. He yelped.  
"2 cul 4 meh!!" He screeched butt den leaned ova too Gee.  
Gee blooshed as Frok whispered, "Cold titties, cold titties need warmth, you have warmth for my cold titties."  
 **I hate myself so much for this.**


	3. Who the FrUk are You? (A GerIta Crack-Fiction)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A Germany/Italy crackfic I came up with. What am I doing with my life?
> 
> I don't want to know anymore.
> 
> This is also short and makes no FrUkin' sense. Cursing bc it's the countries, aight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Based off of the prompt here: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/744360/2/probably-crackfic-prompts-ficprompt

Whilst randomly fishin' off of some weird goddam cloud shit, Germany pulled in an Italian man whom had been late for training 3 weeks in a row w/o bein' murdered bc Germany was gey af for that bitch.  
"Ve~ Doitsu!!!!! Wear the FrUk am I???" Italy scr33c3d.   
"Like I kno," Germany replied, blushing bc senpaii is herE.  
"Why the FrUk r u fishin' Doitsu??? U won't catch wurst lik dat, veveveveveveveveveeveeeeeee~" Italy exclamed.  
Just then, a semi-wild France and super hammered England appeared ready 2 fite.  
"Jou summoned ze powerfull FrUk, u dumbbutt!" Germani scolded the Pasta.  
"F33l ze wrath of geyness ma hoes, ohonhonhhonhonhonhonhohonoonhohonhoonohohonohohhon," Francoos sheiked.  
"Fuji m8," Authur helpfully commented.  
And then, Japan was bought into dis messes. His personal space issues didn't react well to the closeness of the area.   
"Why am I, an intellectual, always included your shenanigans, GerIt -" before Kinku Honda Motors could stop thyself, he accidentally shipped Germany-san and Italy-chan.  
Germany anime-gasped(TM) at da words spoken from da mouth of the countrie. "U ship us???!!!!"  
"Ve~" the dumbass Pasta Noodle said out of da nowheres.  
Germany kissed Italy-san and made Kinku do the heart stop. He fells over, all claustrophobia gone. "My life is completed. I have no need to remain on this Earth."  
Little, did he know, we all feel the same, Japan. Good job.


End file.
